Any wedding day is filled with lots of pressure. Why? Because it’s a big deal when two people commit their lives to one another forever! This can also be a time when doubt kicks in. “Should I be getting married?”, “Am I making the right decision?”, “Yikes, what am I doing?” In order to handle these panicky questions, every couple needs to do these two things before getting married…
1. Consider the Practical Implications
Genesis 2:24 – Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
When God created marriage and family, He created a natural progression to take place. When couples become husband and wife, they are to “leave” their father and mother. This is a practical statement about dependency.
In other words, if you aren’t ready to live on your own without the financial or practical support of your parents, you aren’t ready to get married. It’s important to remember that getting married isn’t just about falling in love, it’s about stepping into new roles of responsibility. As a single person living at home, your responsibility is limited and you depend on your parents. But when you get married, essentially you are taking on the roles of your parents and living on your own.
Any couple considering marriage needs to consider the practical implications of this decision. Can you afford to “leave” home? Do you have a budget? Can you live within the budget? What if you get pregnant? What if you lose your job? All of these are real life scenarios your parents currently have to deal with and once you get married you will have to do the same. So it’s important you take a hard look at these issues now before marriage! If you find you can’t afford to live on your own, then don’t get married. Wait!
If you find you have certain things that must take precedent (i.e. finishing college, completing a certification, etc.) which will hinder your ability to live on your own, then wait to get married. It’s better to wait until these practical challenges fall into place rather than step into an unbiblical situation that will cause more anxiety and stress down the road.
2. Consider the Spiritual Implications
Ephesians 5:22-23, 25-26 – Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior… 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.
Scripture is very clear that husbands and wives have two very different roles to fulfill within the context of marriage. Husbands are responsible for loving and leading their wives like Jesus and wives are called to defer and follow the leadership of their husbands. (see my blog post, A Boy Named Sue). Now this only takes place when couples get married. In other words, when couples are dating God is not going to hold them accountable to fulfill these spiritual roles, but once they get married, there’s no choice!
Therefore, it behooves any couple to consider the spiritual implications of getting married in terms of your ability to successfully fulfill your role. Men, is your girlfriend leadable? Does she trust you and defer to you? Women, is your boyfriend respectable? Is he someone you want to follow? If the answer is yes, great! If the answer is no or not sure, then don’t get married. Wait!
Take your time to work on the areas of concern and if there’s improvement, you’re heading in the right direction. If things get worse, then you have prevented making a big mistake. I would also recommend that you get some pre-marital counseling to help clarify and confirm your particular situation.
Remember, falling in love, romance, being attracted to one another, and having common interests are all very important components for a happy marriage, but they are only part of the equation. It’s also important to consider the practical and spiritual implications before walking the aisle. God has given us practical truth in His word to ensure success, so do yourself a favor and apply it. You will be glad you did!
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